


before i ever met you, i never knew i liked to be kissed for days

by Skamtrash



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Anal Sex, Attraction, Clubbing, Exploration, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Flirting, Hand Jobs, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Original Character(s), Public Hand Jobs, Religion, Secret Relationship, Sexuality Crisis, Shy Isak Valtersen, Smut, Sneaking Around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-09-25 19:29:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skamtrash/pseuds/Skamtrash
Summary: Isak, the pastor's closeted son meets Even, who's out and proud and the brother of his best friend. Even helps him explore his sexuality.





	1. Chapter 1

Isak was to Christianity as Christianity was to the bible. There was no one without the other. Growing up the pastor's son, you are obligated to live that life but Isak had no complaints. He loved his religion and his church community. He co-ran youth group as early as 11, his bright and bubbly personality bought joy and comfort to everyone at church but things started changing around 15.

Isak was having certain feelings...towards boys. Seeing shirtless boys and boys playing sports would send tingles through his body the way seeing a girl in a bathing suit didn't. He knew at 15 and the only thing that raced his mind that year was his dad preaching

_Gay is an abomination_

_Men who lie in bed with other men are sinful_

_Marriage is for a man and woman _

Isak doesn't question that the bible also doesn't advocate for divorce and yet here his dad is. Over the years, he suppresses this thoughts for boys so deep that he forgets those feelings exist. Now at 19, he's timid, he's more reserved and quiet and 11 year old Isak was a different person. More hopeful. More naive 

He's just glad he has Becca, his best friend. Who doesn't know about that part of Isak but she knows everything else and he feels safe with her_. _

They're currently at a get together which is quite nice, good music, socializing, nice virgin drinks. He and Becca stay on the outskirts until Isak has to use the restroom. He excuses himself a minute and walks throughout the massive house to find a bathroom, opening up every door.

When he turns a corner, he crashes into a tall body and trips back a couple steps, "Sorry."

"It's okay" The tall blond smiles. Looking up at him, for the first time in a long time, Isak feels those feelings coming back up and he tries his best to push them back down. "We should chill, follow me" He says turning on his feet and walking into a bedroom and sitting on the floor after closing the door.

He pulls out a cigarette and lights it and Isak looks around wearily, "Is this your room? "

He shakes his head as he huffs out the smoke, "Wanted to chill. There's so many rooms, no one will find us"

"But..you're smoking cigarettes in other people's room..." He trails off.

"It's weed and I'm sure we'll be fine."

Isak clears his throat and brings his knees to his chest uncomfortably.

"What's your name?"

"Isak"

"I'm Even. So Isak, how do you know Becca?" He inquires

"She's my best friend." He smiles. "For years. Do you know her? Do you like her or something?"

He watches Even grimace as he coughs a bit at the smoke heading down the wrong pipe, "No, she's my sister."

Confusion clearly crosses Isaks face, "I didn't know she had a brother"

Even nods, "The family doesn't claim me anymore. Since I started hooking up with guys and came out as pan, they've stopped talking to me. So I guess Im wondering what's Becca doing with you."

Even expressed so much in one breath that Isak is overwhelmed with the new information. What's pansexual? Where has he been all this time? Is there a real life gay person in front of him, who has the same thoughts as he? But instead he asks, "What does Becca hanging out with me have to do with you?"

"Well, you're gay, right? That would be hypocritical of her" 

"I'm not gay!!" He defends. "I've never done anything like that with a guy."

"Just because you haven't doesn't mean you're not and Isak, there's this thing called gaydar. You know, non straight folk can usually tell when there's another in the room and mine went off as soon as I saw you talking to my sister"

"But I'm not" He says again. 

"Isak, I know this town and I know you're the pastor's son and you wouldn't come out if you wanted to and there's a lot of pressure on your shoulders but I would never judge you for being who you are"

Isak looks down at his shoes and nods. He eventually looks up at him and chokes out, "But I'm not".

Even smiles as he takes another hit, "Whatever you say, Isak."

"So you've dated guys?" Isak nervously ask, refusing to make eye contact. 

"Yeah, I have."

"So are there other people--- you know, like you here?"

Even chuckles, "God, no. I moved to the UK for years which is where a lot of the exploring happened. I just got back here, I'm only back here for a bit, while I look for a new job and save some money."

He nods in understanding, "So in the UK...people don't care? That you like men? "

Even shakes his head, "Not at all, there's so many gay people there. Living here is hell compared to there."

Isak didn't ever think of a life outside of here, a life where all people are accepted. It never crossed his mind...until now

"You sure are curious for someone who's not gay" Even challenges. 

And immediately discomfort settles in the pit of his stomach, "I'm gonna go." Isak gets up and scurries out of the room without another word or a look back.

When he gets back to Becca, he ignores her questions about what took so long and simply says he got lost.

.

Over the next couple of days, Isak's brain has not stooped bouncing around for questions he wanted to ask Even. He planned on sleeping over Becca's this Saturday and figured it'll be the perfect chance but he almost feels deceiving, slimy and gross for thinking he can sneak around Becca and ask questions about thoughts he isn't even supposed to be having. 

That Saturday evening, after he and Becca spent hours chatting and laughing, they share good night's and Isak has been lying on the bed in the guest bedroom muddling over whether to tip toe into Evens room. He tries to ignore the thoughts and and sleep through them but he fails so he finds himself creeping to the only bedroom with the light still on.

He slowly cracks it open but Even is faced away from him with his headphones on. He eases the door close and walks over and kneels on his carpeted floor and lightly taps his back. 

Even jumps, his headphones falling off his head, startled by seeing Isak. 

"Fuck, you scared me. Hi"

Isak gives a shy smile and stays put as Even turns his headphones that were playing music off and closes his sketchpad, "What's up?"

Isak shrugs, "Wanted to say hi"

Even chuckles, "It's nearly 1, shouldn't you be asleep? There's church tomorrow."

Isak nods and plays with the pattern on the carpet as he quietly ask, "Do you want to talk or something?"

Evens brow furrow because again, it's 1 in the morning. Even stares at Isak who can't look his way and starts to think the younger boy has stuff he wants to talk about.

"Yeah, what do you want to talk about?"

Isak knows what he wants to ask. He has each question numerically listed in his head but can't bring himself to ask until he looks up at Even hoping he'll read his mind and he won't have to say it. 

"Do you want me to tell you about my experience in London? With guys?" Even ask.

Isak nervously nods. 

"I told you I'm not going to judge you, you can ask whatever but anyway, I've never dated a guy before there obviously since no one would ever come out here. I met a guy on a dating app when I first moved there. He was a little older and had been out for a while so I learned a lot about what I know from him. But yeah, we went on a few dates and really liked each other and ended up being boyfriends. And then we broke up -- I was heartbroken so I may have messed around a bit and then--"

"Messed around?" He mutters. "As in?"

"Yeah like hooking up. Like doing stuff in bed" He explains

"Oh" Isak says turning red.

"Yeah, I was a bit reckless especially since I repressed that part for so long"

"Was--um, was your first boyfriend your first kiss?" Isak bravely ask.

"Mhmm, yeah. First everything. Why?"

Isak shrugs, "Think it would be quite nerve wracking to meet someone and it's going well and be nervous that your lack of experience with something as easy as kissing will ruin it."

"Well if you find the right person, they wont care if you're inexperienced."

Isak nods as he lets out a deep breath, "It's something that makes me really anxious."

"You're not the only one, many people worry about that but it also comes more natural than you may think."

Isak understands and continues playing with the carpet, occasionally glancing up at Even.

"Any more questions?" Even ask.

Isak shakes his head though it's a clear lie. He just needs to spit it out or he's never going to rest, "Will you kiss me?" 

Evens eyes widen and he wants to smirk and tease Isak about saying he's not gay but it's clearly something he's not ready to embrace so he doesn't say it. "Just to learn" Isak adds, taking Evens silence for rejection.

"Yeah sure" Even agrees. Isak head whips up fast, shocked at the agreement. 

Even scoots a little closer and ask, "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

Isak shakes his head and Even isn't surprised. "You can relax" He says leaning into his lips and softly presses his to Isak. As he goes to open his mouth, Isak slides his tongue in his mouth and Even pulls back at the intrusion.

"Where did that come from? "

"I don't know, I see it in movies" He murmurs in embarrassment. 

"You don't really want to start off like that, okay? Just follow my lead" He says leaning back in to kiss his lips. He opens his lips ever so slightly to suck on Isaks lips, and the latter is catching on. Their lips lock and Even wraps his hand around Isaks head and they continue to makeout. Isak starts feeling the tingles and when he eventually feels Even sucking on his bottom lip, a moan escapes his lips and he pulls back embarrassed, wishing the floor would swallow him whole, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay" He chuckles. "Kissing is nice, it's okay if it turns you on a bit."

And no, no,no. This is getting too much. Isak isn't turned on by kissing a guy, that's not it. His thoughts were imagining this being a girl, that's all this was and he represses the part that wants to ask Even to kiss him some more. He gets up and thanks Even before heading to the door.

"Isak, you're a good kisser. You have nothing to worry about." He walks out before he turns red and hurries into his room, burying his face in the pillow and screaming. This wasn't going to end well for him. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Even" He mutters into his lips, "Even."

"Hmm?" The blond mumbles back as he kisses Isak who is trying to establish some sort of self control. 

"God, you're an amazing kisser." Even groans as his hand runs down Isaks chest to his waistband and back up. 

Isak is ready, he thinks. "Even, touch me please" He begs. "Touch me, touch me" and as Evens hand trails down to where he needs it the most, Isak shoots out of bed, breathing heavy with sweat layered on his forehead.

A dream. 

And insistent knocking on the door.

"Yeah?" He calls out with a shaky voice

"Breakfast is almost ready." Becca calls. "Come down"

"Okay, will be down in a second." He hears Becca walk away and pulls the blanket down to examine the stickiness in his boxers. He groans, feeling humiliated and embarrassed by no one but himself as he takes them off, stuffs them in his backpack and puts his pajamas back on top. He doesn't allow himself to think anymore about the fantasy he just had

He heads downstairs and greets Becca and her mother, "Morning Isak" Sofia greets. 

Isak smiles and joins them at the table as she places their plates down and they all dig in.

"What did you two get up to last night?" Sofia ask. 

"We just talked for a while, watched some shows and went to bed around midnight" Isak's gaze doesnt waver from his plate as he continues eating

"You have clothes for church today, Isak?"

He shakes his head and Sofia insists they'll drive by Isaks and pick him up an outfit so they can make it by the 10 service. As they're chatting, Isak hears footsteps and sees Even walking down the steps. The family ignores him as if he's not even there so Isak does the same. He hears Even open the fridge, he soon hears keys dangling and the door closing. 

Isak allows himself to look back up hoping for an explanation and Becca simply says, "That's my brother, we don't get along." And leaves it at that.

.

At the end of the sermon as people are waiting in the aisle to thank his dad for the session, Becca nudges Isak's shoulder, "Whats up with you? You've been acting weird today."

"Nothing, nothing." He smiles. "Just tired I guess."

"Yeah, we did stay up a it later than usual. Next Saturday, 10oclock bedtime." She chuckles. 

He fakes a smile even though his mind is just thinking about Even and how the guilt he's harboring is going to eat him alive. He doesnt know why but he asks, "Why dont you talk to your brother?"

He watches Becca tense up and she shrugs, "We just dont get along."

"Becca, you can tell me. You didn't even tell me you had a brother and we're best friends."

Becca sighs and looks at him, "'He's just not religious and he goes out of his way to do things thats against it to rebel or whatever."

"What does he do?" Isak pushes.

"Father Valtersen." Becca smiles with her hand out as Isaks dad approaches. "Thank you so much for today's sermon, it was great as per usual."

"Thank you Becca, your kind words are always appreciated. Where are you two heading after?"

She shrugs, "Might get some lunch or something?" She looks towards Isak for confirmation who just nods along in agreement.

"I'll see you at home tonight." Mr. Valtersen says. "It's a school night." Isak gives a yes sir and he and Becca turn to leave the church to head to their favorite spot for lunch.

.

Isak concludes on Wednesday morning during that week that Even is ruining his life. He had ignored this part of his life for eight years. Eight years of hidden feelings about...that and now one person has bought them to surface and he was struggling to bury it down again. He kept thinking about that embarrassing dream he had and potentially wanting to ask Even to kiss him again but also about the guilt he felt about even allowing himself to think like this or that he kissed Even in the first place. 

He doesn't see him again until that Saturday when he's staying with Becca again. He and Becca are lounging in the living room, catching up on the American show, _This Is Us_ when the front door unlocks and Even walks in. 

He looks their way briefly before he heads upstairs without a word. Isak looks over to Becca who's unfazed at the entrance. Isak ignores the urge to go upstairs and tells Becca they should order pizza for dinner. When they finish binging the show, and head upstairs to go their separate ways, Isak watches his back as he creeps into Even's room.

Even turns to the door when he hears it open and watches Isak quietly come in and close the door behind himself, "Hi." The boy awkwardly says leaning back against it.

Even shoots over a confused look, "What are you doing back in here?"

Isak shrugs, "Do you want to hang out?" He ask, looking around the room.

"Now you want to hang out with me?" Even ask raising his eyebrows. "What about for breakfast last week or when you guys ordered pizza a couple hours ago."

Isak joins Even on his bed, sitting with his feet tucked under his bum, "I would like you to hang out with us but Becca would kill me."

Even nods and moves over so Isak has room and doesn't have to sit curled into himself, "So what have you been up to?"

"Nothing." He says simply. "School and stuff, are you in school?" 

Even chuckles, "No, I'm 23. I didn't go to university." 

Isak nods and watches Even get up out of the bed to pick up his phone off the desk and hops back on the bed. He scrolls his phone as Isak sits quietly beside him. 

"Do you want to kiss again?" Isak ask breaking the silence.

Even looks up at him with a smirk and puts his phone down, "Is that why you came in here?"

Isak shrugs. He honestly doesnt know. Sure, its crossed his mind thousands of time since it first happened but he'll also just be okay hanging out with Even doing nothing.

"We can kiss." Even says. Isak smiles and scoots closer and leans in to press his lips to Even's. He waits for Even to guide him, to direct him so he knows what to do but neither of their lips are moving. He pulls back and looks up at him, "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing, you want to kiss me so kiss me."

"But I dont know h--"

"Yes, you do. Just do what feels right." Even says. Isak places his hand on Even's cheek, pulling him to his lips and kissing him. He starts off slow, grazing his lips along Even's and Even starts to reciprocate and Isak smiles at the familiarity. This feels nice, he thinks. They kiss innocently for a while, Isak initiating a step further by sliding his tongue against Even's. Minutes later, the two are messily kissing and moaning into each other's mouths. Even lies Isak down on the bed and Isak throws his leg over Even's hips. He doesnt know whats coming over him but he knows he doesnt want this to stop. Isak feels the tingle between his legs and he finds himself moving against Even instinctively. When Even feels himself getting a little turned on, "We need to slow down." He says pulling back from Isaks lips. Isak whines and shakes his head, trying to kiss Even again but the older boy shakes his head looking down at him, "Isak, It was just supposed to be kissing. This is heading somewhere you dont want it to go"

Isak looks up at Even with hopeful eyes, "What if I wanted more?"

"You dont." Even reassures. "You're only doing this because Im the only person you could do this with. You dont actually want me."

"Thats not true." Isak defends. "I do...want to do stuff with you. I cant stop thinking about it." He confesses. 

Even smiles and kisses his cheek, "You're going to want to save it for a guy you actually like."

Isak tries not to insist anymore and accepts that Even doesn't want to do anything so they lie there in silence

"You know...I asked Becca about you." Isak says.

"Well, that's dangerous territory." He chuckles. "Why would you do that?"

"I wanted to hear her perspective, see if she would actually tell me honestly, she didn't. She skirted around it."

Even shakes his head, "They act like it's not a thing like I didn't tell them. Every time someone ask about me, I'm sure they lie and say I left and settled down with a woman or something." 

Isak takes Evens hand and starts delicately grazing his fingers, "Will you tell me what happened? How they found out? "

Even sighs, "Yeah I mean, I told them when I was 18 in case I got kicked out. I told Becca first, I thought I could confide in her. We were really close before. I told her first that I'm attracted to guys and she thought I was joking. Looking back, I shouldn't have told her, she was only 14 but she was mature for her age but she was also so religious. So I told her and she asked isn't it against God and stuff and what if I went to hell and I didn't know what to say, I just told her this is how I feel and just begged her not to tell our parents. And I thought things were fine until one day I came home and my stuff was packed on the porch. When I went in, my dad tried to fight me calling me all these terrible names. Becca had told them and she just watched him hit me. My mom didn't want to kick me out but my dad said he would leave if I didn't. So I left. A couple years later he left anyway but yeah--they blame me for ruining their family. That's pretty much it."

When Even finishes sharing his story, he looks down and sees Isak crying. Even wraps him tightly in his arms, "You dont have to cry, I'm okay now"

"You don't deserve that" Isak says looking up at him. 

"None of us do. It's just what happens when you grow up here, your family's shame is more important than loving their child"

Isak curls into Evens chest to comfort him and give himself some comfort because as he hears that, he decides coming out to Becca or anyone else will never be an option for him


	3. Chapter 3

They start spending every Saturday night together. Sure, they kissed a lot but they actually mostly talk and confide in each other and Evens room becomes a queer safe haven for them. Isak even admits to Even that hes gay, embracing the label and all. Isak shares a lot of the guilt he feels about the thoughts he has or even kissing Even and going to church the next morning and hearing about how everything he feels is unacceptable. But Even reassures him he's not an abomination and his feelings are valid. 

They exchange numbers about a month after having constant hanging out and Even ask Isak to possibly hang out with him outside of his bedroom though it sends some anxious ripples through Isaks body, he agrees. One day, Even invites him to the mall and when Even tells him Becca is sick and shes staying home, he agrees without much hesitation.

Even needs to pick up a few things so Isak follows him throughout the mall into random stores. Even grabs a couple of pants and t shirts that he wants try on and heads to the fitting room with no employee to let him in so he heads in by himself. 

"I'll wait right here." Isak says but Even takes his hand and pulls him in the dressing room with him. "What are you doing?" Isak ask. Even pushes him to sit down and throws his clothes on him, "You'll be my clothing rack."

Isak sits back quietly and watches Even unbutton his shorts and slip them off his legs and takes one of the pants from Isaks arms, he unhooks it from the hanger and slips them on, "How do these look?" He ask Isak who gives a simple nod.

"They look good?" Isak nods again and Even chuckles and takes off his shirt, pulling the v neck over his head, "I like how this looks" He says examining himself in the mirror

Isak agrees as Even looks down at him, "whats wrong?"

"Nothing." Isak smiles. 

"You're not saying much, Isak. I need your opinion."

"It looks good, you always looks good." Isak says honestly. Even smiles and leans down to give Isak a chaste kiss, "Thank you"

Even continues trying on different articles of clothing. When he's finished and separating the items he wants from the ones he doesn't with an attentive look, Isak gets up and slams his lips to Evens, pushing him back against the fitting room door. Even immediately reciprocates, dropping the clothes in his hands.

Isak hands start crawling up Evens t shirt, indicating where he would like it to go and that makes Even pull back, "We should stop." Isak huffs and hides his frustration, picking up the items Even dropped. They leave the fitting room and Even goes to check out his clothes. They stop by several more shops before making their way to the food court.

Even grabs his sandwich and Isak gets pasta and they settle down at a table and dig in, "I had fun today." Even says.

Isak nods playing with his pasta, "Me too" He mumbles. 

"What's wrong?" Even ask.

"Nothing" He replies still without looking up at Even.

Even reaches over and tilts Isaks head up, "What is it? "

"Why you don't like me?" He ask firmly but shyly. Almost innocent. 

"I do like you, Isak"

"I mean like me, like me. You never want to kiss me" He explains. 

"Do you like me?" Even ask. Isak blushes and looks down at his food and nods in affirmation. 

"I like you too but I think you might just like me because I'm the only person you can like. You don't know anyone else who likes guys."

"That's not why, Even. I promise. I thought you were cute before I even knew and I wouldn't keep kissing you if I didn't want to. "

"What about Becca?" Even ask.

Isak starts playing with his food again. There's several brief pauses before he replies, "We can just not tell her." He pitches

Even sighs and bites down on his bottom lip in contemplation and looks back up at Isak who isnt looking at him. He stares at the boy in front of him, trying to decide if this is what he wants. He knows he wants Isak and that he wants to keep kissing him and spending time with him and sharing their vulnerabilities together but he doesnt know if he wants to sneak around and do it. It's only so long they can do that before someone finds out and mayhem breaks loose.

So he ask Isak, "What do we do when someone finds out?"

"No one has to find out."

"Isak." He lets out a deep breath. "We cant hide forever, you know? Sneaking around the same house as my mom and my sister? They'll figure it out eventually. I'm not saying no, Im just saying what will we do if that happens? If your dad finds out?"

Isak looks visibly frustrated and distraught over this as he pushes his food aside and buries his face in his hands and just mutters, "I dont know" over and over. Even wants to take Isaks hand away from his face and bring him to sit in his lap so he can hug the frustration out of him but he also is weary of wandering eyes that may find them.

"Let's leave." Even says. Isak looks up at him and ask, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, lets just talk in a more private place." Isak agrees and throws whats left of his meal out as they leave the mall. They walk down the street in silence and find out a bench that surrounded by trees with not many passerby and they sit down. Even pulls Isak into him and kisses the top of his head, "Tell me what you want." 

Isak rest his head on Evens shoulder and his hand on Even's lap, "I want to date you but I'm scared." He admits. 

"Me too." Even confesses.

"I think I'll just worry about that when it happens. Hopefully it never does and I can just get out of here when I get my degree."

"You sure?" Even ask. Isak looks up at him and nods firmly.

"So what does that mean?" He smirks. "Are we dating?"

Isak smiles fondly and nods again and leans up to kiss Even, "I like you a lot" He mumbles against his lips. 

.

Isak starts sleeping at Becca's more and more. Becca doesn't question it, she's super excited to be spending more time with Isak and Isak is too, even though his nights are spent with Even. He convinces her thather house is more convenient in location to his school than his own and that's how he convinces his dad as well. He starts spending nearly 3 days a week there and spending each of those nights falling asleep in Even's bed to wake up at 430 in the middle of the night to go back to the guest bedroom. 

One evening on a Friday night, Becca and Isak are lounging on the couch having a movie night though Isak is rather distracted texting Even on his phone. He had been sure to save Even under an alternative name just in case Becca ever got a peak at his phone. 

He's smiling into his phone because his boyfriend is an absolutely idiot.

E: _I'm on my way home anyway, what are you guys doing?_

I: _watching a movie, becca is really into it. Wish you could watch with us, want to cuddle with you :(_

E:_ stop texting, enjoy the movie!!!_

I: _then stop distracting me!!!_

E:_ you texted me first!!_

"Isak...Isak" He looks up from his phone and sees Becca looking at him, "Do you not like it? You said you would watch." She pouts.

"Im watching, Im watching." He insists throwing his phone to the side. 

"Good, I promise its good if you'll pay attention." She giggles and throws a pillow at him. He jokingly rolls his eyes and draws his attention to the screen. He's focused on the movie and its actually pretty entertaining and he's attentive to the film until he hears the front door unlocked. He knows its Even before he even bypasses the living room but when he does, he gives a quick glance over to them and Isak smiles as Even heads upstairs. 

Isak draws his attention back to the film for another five minutes or so before he's coming back down the steps and sitting on the couch, a couple feet away from Isak. Isak and Becca, both shocked, turn to him confused, "What are you doing?" Becca questions, pausing the movie. 

"I can't just chill here?" He questions with raised eyebrows, looking down at her sitting on the floor, her back against the couch. She ignores him and looks to Isak, "You dont have to talk to him." She says and turns back to the movie, pressing play

Isak turns to Even and nudges Even's leg with his foot in ridicule. Even smirks and leans down to silently kiss Isak's foot. Isak grimaces and pulls his foot back and turns to the film. 

A couple minutes later, Isak watches as Even heads upstairs without a word. 

He gets a text a couple seconds later, 

_come up_

He waits another 10 minutes or so before telling Becca he's going to use the restroom. 

He walks upstairs and sees Even standing in the dark hallway. He smiles as he walks over to him and immediately kisses him. Even kisses him back smiling against his kiss. Even's hands run down Isaks body to his hips and his ass as he hoist him up in his arms causing Isak to let out a short squeal which causes both of them to laugh quietly. 

"Wish I could just take you to my room and kiss you"

"We can"

"We can't" Even says. "Its too risky."

Isak pouts and sighs, "We can in a couple hours though?" He says in a hopeful tone.

"When everyone is asleep." Even confirms. Isak nods and kisses him and wiggled out of his arms, "I'll see you later" He says and scurries down the steps.

They pass out in the living room that night but when Isak wakes up, disheveled in the middle of the night, he walks upstairs silently and slides into bed with Even who turns in his sleep, still somewhat awake, "Only took you a decade."

"Sorry" He mumbles twisting and turning to get Evens lazy arms wrapped around him. "I'm here now."

.

Isak wakes up later than planned because he only rises when he feels the sun hitting his eyelids. For a moment, he wakes up blissed out, drowning in Evens weighted blanket and he stretches before---Even!! He jumps out of the bed realizing he's still in Evens bed and it's morning. He looks at Evens open laptop and it's nearly 10 and Isak starts panicking if anyone was looking for him and where Even is. 

He puts on his pants and peeks open the door, making sure the coast is clear before scurrying to the guest bedroom and as he's about to head in, he's being pulled in another room and screams, it all happens so fast. When he looks up, he sees Even staring down at him, "Good morning"

"Hi" 

"You woke up late" Even points out. 

"I know, I'm sorry. Did anyone see?" He ask nervously. 

"I woke up before you and Becca was looking for you. Told her you left, you weren't feeling well."

Isak groans and his head falls into Evens chest, "I'm sorry, I meant to wake up. I guess I was just really tired."

"It's fine, just be careful next time. They went out to breakfast like 10 minutes ago." He informs. Isak nods, feeling like he can breathe a bit knowing they have the house to themselves. "I can make us breakfast and as much as I want us to chill after, you probably should head home just so we're safe."

Isak agrees and leaves the bathroom so Even can shower and goes to the guest bathroom and brushes his teeth and washes his face and heads to the living room to watch TV.

When Even comes downstairs, he runs over to Isak and jumps him on the couch causing the younger boy to squeal and giggle, "Go make me food."

"I can't though, you're so cute. It's distracting." Even says hovering above him. 

Isak lies back against the couch and tugs on Evens shirt, "Seriously, we don't have much time" 

"You're right, you're right" Even gets up and drags Isak with him into the kitchen. A fifteen minute cooking session turns into thirty with how much Even keeps coming back over to Isak to kiss him. 

When their food is finally made, Isak is sitting on the counter with his plate in his hands as Even stands in between his legs with his plate in Isaks lap.

"You should come to church." Isak suggests

Even brows furrow and he almost chuckles at the absurdity, "and why in the world would I do that?"

"So we can spend more time together"

"We wont actually be spending time together, Isak. You'll be working or helping and I'll be in the back, miserable, listening to them spew bullshit."

"Hey!!" Isak cuts off. "It's not all bullshit" He defends

"Okay but I'm not sitting back to listen to anyone who tells me I'm going to hell because I like guys. Fuck that" 

Isak sighs and eats his food. After swallowing the bite in his mouth, "It's not only like that. I wish you would come and see. There's some good stuff too."

"Isak, I respect that's apart of your life but its not apart of mine right now" He explains. "A church where people hate me is the last place I want to be"

"Okay" He mumbles. "Still wish I could see you outside of here though" He admits.

"I'll figure something out, I promise."

Isak nods and pushes his plate aside and removes Evens plate from his lap and wraps his arms around his neck, "I have to leave soon"

"Mhmm" Even says looking up at Isak. Isak pouts because Even knows what Isak wants and isn't giving it to him.

"What?" Even teases. Isak leans in puckering his lips but Even jerks his head back, teasing him. Isak whines but Even continues to do it until Isak grabs Even by the face and brings him in for a kiss. It's sweet and syrupy and great. Isak wraps his legs around Evens waist and kisses him with all the love and affection he had to give. He loops his arms back around his neck and pulls Even in some more, practically trying to get him on top of him on the counter. 

Instead Even picks Isak up and takes him to the couch and lies him down and immediately resumes their kiss. Isak locks his legs around Even and continues to kiss his lips. He feels Evens hands touching his pale skin on his chest and it feels so good to have his large hands pan all over his body. He's taken aback when he feels Even grinding into him. Even is usually the one stopping Isak from doing more than kissing but this is definitely more than kissing. Isak isn't complaining but also wants to make sure he knows things are okay. Even makes light grunts into his mouth as he grinds on top of Isak who pulls back from the kiss. 

He gently plays with Evens hair as the tall blond looks down at him, hips still moving, "Are you okay?"

Even nods and briefly stills his hips, "Sorry, I should of asked"

"It's okay, I like it" He smiles. "Feels nice, just making sure"

So Even keeps moving his hips and whispers in Isaks ear, "Do you want to get off like this?"

"Hm?" He chokes out, startled at the question

"Do you want to come like this?" 

Isak turns red, never having been in a situation like this and never hearing such blunt language and nods. He's never done this either, he has grinded against things to get some friction, he only let himself fully enjoy the result of it once and the guilt that haunted him was enough to make him not do it again. Until now, with Even.

As Even has his head buried in Isaks neck and is grinding against him, Isak has to be honest, "I'm nervous, Even" He chokes out. 

"Why baby? What's wrong?" Even ask looking down at him concerned. 

"I don't want to feel guilty"

"Guilty about what? Doing this with me?"

Isak sighs, "Or just doing this in general, you know? Like this selfish pleasure" He explains 

"There's nothing wrong with making yourself feel good, Isak. As long as you're not hurting anyone else, it is completely fine to do this or anything else that you want. You're not a bad person for wanting to feel a little pleasure. God doesn't think you're a bad person either"

Isak nervously nods, "If I want to stop though at some point--"

"Then I'll stop immediately, I promise. But do you want to do this? You know we don't have to"

"I know, I do want to. I just needed to tell you that first." 

Even nods and leans down to kiss him and resumes the movement of his hips. He feels Isak hardening against him and Isak letting out soft mewls and it makes Even smile that hes making Isak feel good. He moves his head to kiss his neck and shoulders and moves a little faster, "Feels so good, baby." Even groans. 

Isak starts panting heavily and gripping onto Evens shoulders, muttering his name over and over. Even turns his head to look at Isak who's head is tilted back, his mouth hung open. He moves faster and harder and Isak starts getting louder and within seconds, he's shooting in his pants. Even continues grinding against him, it takes him a bit longer but when Isak starts touching him everywhere, that's all it takes before he's finishing in his own pants. He collapses breathless on top of Isak who kisses his cheek repeatedly. 

When Even is recovered, he sits up with dazed eyes, You okay?" 

Isak nods, sitting up as well, "Was quite nice" He says leaning over to peck his lips. "I feel like I finished fast, right?"

"Yeah but that's okay. It makes sense, this is all new"

Isak feels somewhat better at the reassurance, "Can you take me home now? I need a shower"

Even chuckles, they both get up and put on the rest of their clothes and head out to Evens car. On the ride over, they're singing along to Evens spotify playlist but before they pull up to his street, Isak ask Even to park here.

"Dad might be home." He says. Even gets it and puts the car in park, turning down the music. He leans over and give a a soft, longing kiss, "You still feel okay, right? No guilt or anything?"

"I'm okay, thank you. It was really good. I'll see you soon?"

Even nods and kisses him once more and watches Isak put on his backpack and walk down the street to his house and gives a short, shy wave before disappearing inside. 


	4. Chapter 4

_In other words those who are born of God are eternally secure in the hand of Jesus. And those who are born of God must endure to the end in order to be finally saved. And so the question rises: How has God ordained to keep his people persevering in faith to the end so that he can infallibly fulfill the promise that they are secure and that none shall be lost?_

Isak is attentive to the sermon, standing on the furthest aisle watching people take in his father's words. He takes in and processes what's being said and his eyes glance over the crowd to see how they're perceiving his words when his eyes immediately widen spotting Even entering, heading to sit in the back row. When they make eye contact, Even shoots him a smile. Isak had spoke to Even a little more, informing him it would mean a lot if he came to church and saw this part of his life but there were never definitive plans so seeing him is a good surprise. 

_Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” If you deny the truth that homosexual behavior is sin, but instead approve of it or rejoice in it, what you bring to the homosexual person will not be love — no matter how affirming, kind, or tolerant. Our aim is the biblical combination of conviction in God’s truth and compassion for God’s creation_

Isak feels his heart race as he looks at Even, who's looking down at something. That part of the sermon only goes on for another minute or so so Isak stands there worried, hoping that part doesn't take away from the rest of the readings about forgiveness. 

_The reason is not because we can earn heaven or merit heaven by forgiving others, but because holding fast to an unforgiving spirit proves that we do not trust Christ. If we trust him, we will not spurn his way of life. If we trust him, we will not be able to take forgiveness from his hand for our million dollar debt and withhold it from our ten dollar debtor_

When they're done several hours later, Isak accompanies his dad in thanking everyone for coming. He suddenly feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and excuses himself when there's only several people left

He steps away and reads the text from Even,

_hey, I'm upstairs. Are you done?_

_what are you doing up there?_

_want to see you_

_okay, coming_

Isak head to the back of the church and up the steps to another part of the building that was very isolated. He sees Even looking out of the red tinted windows and walks up to him. 

He leans against the window beside him, "Thanks for coming."

Even nods and leans down to kiss him but Isak turns his head muttering, "We're in church"

"Right" Even says clearing his throat.

"So what did you think?"

"I think you know what I thought, Isak" 

"Well except for that part. He made good points in every other part, about loving everyone and forgiving to heal yourself."

Even shrugs, "Just hard to believe anything when one minute he's preaching love thy neighbor and next, condemning his gay neighbor."

Isak sighs and figures this is a lost cause, trying to get Even to reconnect with his faith 

"And the fact that you can stand there and listen to him say shit like that?"

"It's not like I have much of a choice, Even" He argues

"Maybe not but you still enjoy it. Clearly, wanting me to get into all this. And you come here every week happily to listen to him hate on who you really are"

"I see past that, Even. I take what I can and what I need and that's it. I try to ignore that" He insists

"Well it's not something I can ignore and obviously I want you to do what you want but I won't be back"

Isak sighs, looking up at him, "Okay"

"Are you gonna come over or something?"

"I don't know if I can today but I'll text you"

Even nods and resist a kiss, instead squeezing his hand longingly before leaving.

.

When Isak gets home later that evening after going out to eat and running errands with his dad, he curls into his bed after a warm shower. 

He pulls out his phone and text Even,

_hey, I hope you're not mad at me.._

_mad at you for what?_

_idk, asking you to come, not letting you kiss me. everything, I guess _

_Its okay, I wasn't mad at you. just upset at the situation. _

_what situation?_

_Going to church, a place that has traumatized me, to watch my boyfriend so avidly listen to a sermon about how what we have is wrong or the fact that people are still preaching that anyway._

_Even, I'm sorry!! That's not what I was trying to do. Can I call you?_

_Family's here..._

_okay but that's not why I asked you to come. I know you have bad experiences there and I have too but most of it isn't bad and I wanted you to come and see all the love that's shared between the people, it's a really good place when you don't consider that part of it but I'm sorry if made you uncomfortable. _

_Its okay, guess it's just weird that you like going there. _

_Its a big part of me, you know that, always has been_

_yeah_

_are we okay_

_yeah_

_doesn't seem like it...with the one word answers _

_we're okay_

_okay...i guess I'll see you tomorrow? becca and I were gonna do some work_

_okay <3_

.

The next day Becca and Isak are focused on assignments, though they'll occasionally get distracted by playing a round of heads up on their phone or throwing blueberries in each other's mouth but they've been focused on their respective work for at least a solid 30 minutes this time around. 

Within a couple hours and the approach of nightfall, Isak starts thinking about Even since he still isn't home and hasn't texted him today.

"When's your mom and brother coming home?" Isak ask.

"Moms out with my nana so probably soon and I don't know about Even. He was super weird this morning. More than usual"

Isak brows furrow, "What do you mean?'

"Who cares? Let's keep going. We'll aim for 45" She bargains. 

Isak agrees and looks back at his readings though his thoughts are far away from molecular biology 

Isak passes out that night in the guest room for the first time in a long time without a text from Even or him crawling into his bed at 4 in the morning with an apology. 

.

The next morning, Isak is up early before anyone else to get ready for his 8am class that he was burdened with this semester. After he showers and gets dressed, he cracks open Evens room and spots him curled under his blanket. He tries to bury his anger and heads down the steps for class. 

He has three consecutive classes and when 12:15 finally hits, he feels like he can take a breather. As he's leaving the science building, he's taken aback by spotting Even sitting on a bench in front of the building. Confused, he walks over and stands in front of him to get his attention, "Hi"

Even looks up, squinting from the sun, "Hey, good class?"

"Yeah, what's going on? Thought you didn't want to see me, you didn't come see me last night. "

"I just needed some time" He explains

"To do what?" He ask shakily, sitting beside him. 

"Think about everything"

"About what, Even? Have you been preparing yourself to break up with me or something?" He looks at him concerned.

"No, but maybe you should." Isak looks at him utterly confused, waiting for a further explanation. 

"Your faith is always going to come first, I get that now. So maybe this isn't going to end well. I thought we could wing it and figure it out later but let's face it, you're never coming out, that place will always be your priority. Even if things get further in our relationship, you will be burdened with guilt and you can't live like that. I don't want you living like that"

Isak is staring at him in awe trying to figure out how to even respond. How did this get bad so fast.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Is the first thing that comes out.

Even looks up at him, "What do you have to say?"

"I don't want to end this, if guilt is burdening me later on then I'll deal with it but you dont know if that's going to happen and neither do I. We'll deal with it when it comes and then --"

"And what about me?" Even asked with teary eyes. "I just wait around until this all overwhelms you and you can't do it anymore and leave?"

"Why are you doing this?" Isak ask exasperated. "This feels like it's coming out of nowhere. You knew my connection with the church when we got together. Why is this all of a sudden bothering you so much?"

"Because Isak!!! The church comes first, your religion, your fear, everything comes first. I don't matter when you're there. That was clear yesterday. To be honest, it hurt me that you didn't want to kiss me yesterday and that whole thing -- it made me uncomfortable but it's a big part of your life, I know that and I can't ask you to distance yourself so I will"

"Even seriously, stop" He says latching onto his hand, "Don't break up with me, you dont want to do that. Please dont." He begs. 

"Isak, its a ticking time bomb waiting for you to break up with me"

"Why are you expecting the worst? What if I do get to a place where I can come out? You won't know that if we give up now"

Evens head falls into his hands as he finally let's himself cry, "I'm scared, Isak. You're going to leave eventually. It's only a matter of time. "

Isak kisses Evens back as he's hovered over and wraps him arm around him, "It's not true."

He gets down on his knees and separates Evens hands from his face. And he know this visual looks weird to passerby but he can't be bothered. He looks up at Even and wipes his tears, "I'm scared too, Even. You think I'm not scared? I have more to fear, more to lose and I'm still choosing this. To be with you. I'm risking everything, my friendship, my dad, my home, the church, everything. Couples break up anyway or end up together for the rest of their lives and both of those outcomes are scary but it doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy what we have. I'm scared but I still want you. So much, Even so please don't do this. We'll be okay." He places his hands on his cheek and lifts up on his knees to kiss him, "Please" He begs wiping his tears with his thumb. 

Even kisses him back through his tears and it dawns on him that Isak is kissing him out in public. He immediately pulls back and looks around and no one seems to be paying them any attention thankfully but he looks down at Isak and pulls him up to sit back beside him, "You kissed me. Like in public" 

Isak blushes and nods shyly, "I couldn't help it, you were talking crazy" He giggles. 

Even smiles and takes Isaks hand, "It still scares me but I want to be with you"

Isak gives him a squeeze in affirmation, "Do you want to get lunch?" 

Even agrees, they both get themselves together and leave campus.

.

If possible, the couple get even closer. They start spending time outside of Evens bedroom and they know they shouldn't, it's too risky. Even if they're not affectionate in public, Isak knows word spreads and if word gets around that Isak is even friends with a gay person, he won't hear the the end of it. But he knows Even was worried about them and he doesn't want to give him a reason to so he makes sure that hes trying, that hes showing Even that's he's not ashamed of them. That one day, in the distance future, this can be their life. And they can be holding hands and kiss when they want and it seems to be working for them. 

They're currently on a hike a little outside of Oslo and Isak told his dad he was hanging out at Becca's per usual. It was great weather out, a cool breeze, not too hot so when Even suggested a hike, Isak agreed merely at the thought of isolated time away and a nice view was just a bonus. 

"Even, slow down!" Isak huffs several feet behind Even as his boyfriend hops and skips through rocks. 

Even turns around and watches Isak struggle, "Drink some water" The older blond instructs.

"I'm not thirsty" He insists. "Can we take a break?" He ask when he finally reaches Even. Even sits down on a boulder and Isak sits down in his lap and rest his head on his shoulder, "How much longer?"

"Like 20 minutes up but then another hour back."

Isak whines and shakes his head, "I give up"

"We didn't have to come." Even chuckles, "We could of did something else."

"But we're alone which is nice" Isak lifts his head up, smiling down at Even. 

Even smiles and gives a short nod and a lustful gaze as he pulls Isak down for a kiss. Isak places his hand on Evens cheek. Without separating their lips, he turns around in his lap completely facing him and locks his legs around Evens waist. 

Its rather innocent until Even starts lifting up the back of Isaks shirt, running his hands up his soft skin and deepening the kiss. And Isak is overwhelmed with everything he's feeling and his body naturally reacts and starts grinding on top of Even. 

He feels Even mutter a fuck but it dies down in Isaks throat. Isak suddenly feels Evens hands smoothing down his back, into his elastic shorts and he suddenly has a hold on Isaks bum and Isak let's out a gasp at the touch. 

Even pulls back briefly, looking up at Isak who smiles and resumes the kiss, nonverbally reassuring Even that hes okay. Isak, with a new found bravery decides to the same but instead his hand dives into the front of Evens pants and he separates their lips and looks down and pulls Even's erection out of his pants. He holds it in his hand, something he hasn't done before. "Do you want to? Like me to touch you?" Isak ask shyly. Even bites his bottom lip and gives a hesitant nod. 

Isak starts stroking Even and Even spits in his hand and strokes himself and pulls his hand back, giving Isak the okay.

"Why did you do that?" He ask curiously. 

"Makes it easier for your hand to slide on it." Isak nods and looks down to focus on what he's doing and begins to move his hand up and down. He watches as Evens head falls behind him and he leans back, his mouth drops open, "Feels good, baby"

Isak smiles to himself and keeps doing what he's doing. He hears Even moan out, "Faster" So Isak does as told and his gaze shifts back and forth between Evens face and his dick.

"Baby" Even moans lifting his head up to look at Isak, "Do it like this" he shows Isak and swipes over the head and Isak nods, pushing Evens hand away. He strokes his erection a. couple more times and swipes his thumb along the head and watches Evens entire body shiver. He messes around with different things, the pressure, tightening his hand, stroking really slow and teasingly. It's fun to watch Even squirm at his change of motions. Even starts thrusting up in his hand and begging him to go faster, he's getting closer. 

So Isak does. He speeds up the pace, making sure to do everything Even suggested and suddenly his boyfriend is letting out deep groans and clenches his fist as he shoots all over Isaks hand. Isak watches with wide eyes at all the come that leaves Evens erection with awe. 

Even licks his lips, catches his breath and looks down at Isak who's giving him a soft smile, "That was a lot of um--" He insuiates holding up his sticky hand. Even turns a little red and takes Isaks hand and wipes it on his shirt, "Sorry" He then tugs the shirt off and stuffs it in his bag, "That was amazing though." He smiles kissing him. 

Isak nods in agreement, "You're hot."

Even chuckles and reaches to squeeze Isaks erection through his shorts, "Do you want me to?"

Isak turns a little red and clears his throat and mutters a yes.

Even leans up to kiss Isak to release some of his nerves as he stuffs his hand in his pants and as he soon as wraps his hand around Isak, the boy squeals and pulls back from the kiss. 

He covers his mouth and blushes, "Sorry, I just--I don't know. Sorry"

"Are you okay?" Even ask looking up at him. 

"Yes sorry, just not used to it. Feels nice though" He reassures and resumes the kiss. He whines and pants as Even slowly strokes him and Isak can't believe how good it feels. What had he been depriving himself of.

He's so wrapped up in the touch and kissing that he almost missed Even saying, "I wanna suck you off so bad"

Isak feels his erection jerk in interest in Evens hand but his brain sends nerves throughout his body. Even pulls back from the kiss looking up at him and in the most sultry voice asks, "Can I suck you off?"

Isak hides his tinted cheeks in Evens shoulder, "Like a blowjob?" He ask. He's been doing some research ever since that night on the couch and he knows it's a thing that couples do but it doesn't make him any less anxious at the offer. 

"Mhm" Even replies running his hand through Isaks hair, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm nervous" He admits pulling back to look down at him. 

"You don't have to do anything, just sit back and let me do all the work." 

Isak takes a moment to process and eventually nods, "Okay, yeah " He ignores the worries and irrational fears about prematurely ejaculating and Even not liking it. Evens offering and seems eager and he wants to himself so he buries the fear and says yes. 

Even smiles and kisses his lips, "It's going to feel good, I promise" He lifts Isak from his lap and sits him down and gets on his knees. He tugs Isaks shorts down a bit and wraps his hand around Isaks dick and the younger boy looks around embarrassed, "What if someome comes?"

"No one will come for at least a couple hours, I've been here a alot. You'll be the only one coming" He jokes

Isak gives a shy smile, "Okay." He says calming down. "And if--" Isaks voice dies in his throat as he suddenly feels Evens warmth mouth wrap around him.

"Oh my god" He quietly mutters staring down at him. He watches Even expertly bob his head up and down. Even pulls off briefly and looks up, "does it feel good?"

Isak nods enthusiastically, "Just can't believe this is happening" He chuckles lightly. Even smiles and leans up to give him a quick kiss and bends back down and takes Isaks dick his mouth. 

Isak wants to keep watching Even as long as possible, he briefly thinks this a trained skill because he gags from brushing his teeth, he's going to be terrible if he does this for Even. He thinks this through in the span of 5 seconds, it all he has before he feels Even take all of him in his mouth and it sends an unexplainable amount of pleasure through Isaks body and he knows he let out the most embarrassing moan. 

Suddenly, Even's lips are on his while his hand still touches him and Even moans in the kiss, "Want to hear you some more, it's turning me on. God, Isak. The things I want to do to you" He mutters, messily kissing him before returning to the main task at hand. 

Even starts to see Isak getting a bit overwhelmed in pleasure and he looks up watching his head tilted back and his hands kind of flailing to grab onto something. Even reaches his left hand up and interlocks it with Isaks who squeezes his hand, "Even" He starts panting. "Even, Even"

Even knows it's a warning but Even stays put knowing Isak is about to finish. His boyfriend's moans get louder, the grip on his hand is tightening and his legs are jerking closed but Even continues to suck Isaks dick. He starts stroking the end of his shaft, focusing on the top. Swirling his tongue around the head and milking the come out of him with his mouth and just like that, Isak is coming in his mouth with the loudest moan, pulling on Evens hair with his free hand. He tries to best to look up to see Isaks face and the pure, fucked out look was getting him going again. He pulls back after he catches the last drop and swallows, looking up at Isak who's lied back on the boulder, chest rising as he catches his breath. He stands up and pulls Isaks boxers and shorts up before climbing on the rock, hovering over Isak, leaning down to kiss his cheek, "hi"

Isak opens his eyes and gives a weak smile.

"How was that?" Even ask.

Isak shakes his head in disbelief, trying to find the right word, "unbelievable." He settles on. "I didn't even know it was possible to feel like that"

Even smiles and gives him a chaste kiss, "This is only the beginning" He says moving from on top of him, standing up, holding his hand out, "Ready?"

"I can't keep going, not after that. I just want to sleep."

Even laughs, "Okay, lets walk back then" Isak takes Evens hand and pulls him up to stand. Isak is uneasy for the first couple of steps and Even is just wondering how Isak will recover when they have sex. But he gets his mind out of the gutter and instead says, "Wish we could live out here. Do whatever we want"

Isak nods, interlocking their hands as they hike down, "Maybe--- like in the future."

Even leans over and kisses his neck, "Really dont want to go back"

"Did you want to go eat ? We don't have to leave each other right now."

Even agrees as they hike the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. 

When they get to Evens car and he's starting up the car, Isak hears his phone going off, ding after ding. Even looks over at him confused and Isak shrugs as he tugs out his phone and sees nine missed calls and two texts from his father.

He holds his breath and reads the text, 

_Hi, I need you to come home._

_Where are you? I went to Becca's and you weren't there_

Isak groans and buries his face in his hand after throwing his phone in Evens lap. Even picks up the phone and sighs seeing the message. He caresses Isaks back and ask, "What are you going to say?"

"I don't know" He groans. "Should I just say I planned to go to Becca's but another friend wanted to hang out and i don't see them often. I don't know, Even" He sighs. 

"Just call him and see what he says"

Isak reluctantly takes back his phone and calls his dad back who answers in one ring, "Isak, where the hell are you? I've been trying to contact you all morning!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I didn't have service or something" He explains 

"You need to come home" He says. 

"Why?" He ask shyly 

"You're not in a place to ask questions, Isak. Where the hell are you anyway?"

"I just went on a hike, to clear my head. Schools been stressful. "

"20 minutes, Isak and you better be walking through that door." And the line goes dead.

"Fuck!" Isak yells throwing his phone on the floor, "Even, what if he knows?" 

"Baby, how would he know? I think he's probably pissed that you've been lying and saying you were at Becca's."

"Well I have been...most of the time" He sighs and puts his seatbelt on, "Can you just take me home?"

Even puts the car in drive and takes off. Isak is already on thin ice so Even parks further away than he usually would and leans over to give be a kiss, "Everything's going to be okay. Text me after?" 

Isak nods and leaves without a word, clearly anxious and drags his feet all the way to the house. As he's unlocking the front door, he hears it turn from the inside and his dad is suddenly standing in front of him. He gestures for him to head in and closes the door behind him. 

Isak walks to the living room, standing there uncomfortable as if this isn't his own home. His dad tells him to sit down and his dad sits across from them. 

Its silence between them and his dad is staring at him, like he's killing him with his eyes,

"Do you think I'm stupid, Isak?"

When Isak doesn't reply, he ask again in a sharper tone. 

"No"

"So why have you been lying to me thinking you can get away with it?"

Isak doesn't exactly know what his father is talking about and he doesn't want to incriminate himself so he just sits there in silence. 

"Where have you been going everyday when you said you've been at Becca's?" Oh, that's what this about. 

"I have been there. I swear"

"And today?" He questions

"I didn't think you would let me go hike alone so I said that, I'm sorry. But every other time, I have been with her" 80% of the time, he doesn't choose to add.

His dad nods in contemplation looking down at his feet, "So you're a liar and a sinner?" He ask sharply throwing his phone at Isaks stomach. Isak doesn't pick it up, he already knows what this is now. His dad knows 

"Look at it, Isak"

Isak shakes his head and begins to cry. 

"Isak.." he says in a warning tone. 

Isaks sweaty hands turn the phone over and there on the screen is a photo. Of Isak and Even kissing and the only thought that passes in his head is_ i hate the people in this town_. He recognizes it as the time they kissed when they made things official in what they thought was a secluded area.

"You think I don't recognize who that is?"

"Who gave you that?" He cries.

"When I went to Becca's today and she told me you weren't there, I knew you were with him. And I showed her the picture to see if she knew him, she couldn't believe it. Not only did I find out he's Becca's brother but you had the audacity to bring him into my church."

Isak buries his face in his lap and cries, eventually blocking out anything his dad says. He wasn't prepared to have this talk in a million years, he's not ready to get kicked out and live on his own, he has a degree to finish, he has plans for his life and he watches it dissipate through the gap of his fingers as his dad continues to ridicule him. And the only thing he can think of to make him feel better is Even. _I need Even, _he mutters to himself as he continues to sob


	5. Chapter 5

"Why are you crying, Isak?" He manages to hear through his tears. 

He looks up, fully aware he looks a mess with his bloodshot eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He cries out. 

His dad let's him cry and then ask, "For what?" As if he needs verbal confirmation. 

"Everything, for lying to you, for sneaking around, being gay. Im sorry, I tried. I tried for so long to pretend those feelings weren't there but I can't do it anymore, I hated living like that, dad. I know you hate me and think it's disgusting but I can't control it, if I could, I would have but, I met Even and---Im sorry. Please don't kick me out" He apologizes again. 

"I'm disappointed in you, Isak. You continue to live here knowing full well what you were doing. Lying to me repeatedly. But I'm not going to kick you out"

Isaks breathing hitches and his crying comes to a halt as he stares up his dad, "What?"

"I'm not kicking you out. You are my son and I don't want you living on the streets. Do you know why I'm mad, Isak?"

"Because I'm gay" He says simply. 

"I'm not happy about that, I'll admit. I'm more angry you turned into a liar. Lying to me, lying to Becca and her mom. Sneaking around their house, Isak? That's completely disrespectful. And I didn't expect this gay thing and I don't understand it. But you're still my son" Isak listens to his dad with trembling lips, this isn't how he ever expected this conversation to go. 

"And I still love you, Isak."

"But what about the church? And the homophobic stuff you say? Or what the town will say?"

"I read the sermons, Isak. I read and interpret and others interpret. And you know the church and our religion will always be my priority but that doesn't mean I have to hate my son. It may not be what the church believes but there's a lot things we do that aren't aligned with the church, that doesn't make us terrible people. Im not for this whole thing but that doesn't mean I will disown you because of it."

Isak nods, wiping his tears, "I always imagined for years that I would end up on the streets, dad. I was so scared for so long" He starts getting choked up, holding back tears. "All of high school, I was so conscious of everything I did, scared people would know or you would realize and it hurt for so long so to hear you say you still love me" He lets the tears fall down his cheek. "I love you so much, dad"

Mr. Valtersen gets up and sits beside Isak, taking him in for a much needed hug, letting his son cry into his shoulder. Letting go years of fear and guilt.

When they pull back, Isak gives a weak smile, "That's a relief" He chuckles. 

"So who is this Even?" He ask.

Isak smiles, "My boyfriend, he's so great, dad. He's so sweet and smart and good to me"

"You know you really hurt Becca?" 

Isak sighs and nods, "I'll talk to her"

"Good. Now you know there are rules. I don't want him staying here or anything. And just because I know doesnt mean you two should be doing stuff in public, you know how people are. You need to tell me when you two are together and hanging out. And you need to invite him for dinner so I can meet him so I can approve. Understood?"

Isak nods enthusiastically with a smile, "So can I go see him? " He ask hesitantly. "And to apologize to Becca" He adds

"Only to apologize to Becca and then back here because you're still grounded for lying."

"Okay." Isak smiles as he gives his dad a kiss on the cheek and runs out the front door.

.

Isak doesn't even bother with a tram. He runs the 20 minutes to Evens and is panting and sweating by the time he arrives and when he does, he sees Even sitting down on the steps, smoking on the porch looking stressed out. He runs up to him and slams his lips into his, causing Even to fall back a little before finding his balance. 

Even pulls back a bit looking up at him confused, "Whats going on? You were crying" He says sadly upon realizing the tear marks, swiping his thumb over Isaks cheek. 

"He knows. He found out" Isak says. 

"Fuck, baby I'm so sorry. What did he say?"

"That he's disappointed in me that I lied. But he still loves me and I can still live there" He shares with the brightest smile on his face. 

Even looks up at him in shock, "Seriously?"

Isak nods and giggles, "Isn't it crazy? He said despite all the church stuff, he loves me. And he wants to meet you"

Even didn't expect this to be the reaction and he's still a little in shock, "Wow, um fuck that's amazing. I'm so happy for you" He smiles leaning in to kiss him. Isak kisses him back shamelessly, even though his father warned up about pda but he can give himself this. Just this one moment

"Get away from here!!"

Isak pulls back from Evens lips and looks up startled, seeing Becca. He stands up, "Becca, I'm so sorry." He apologizes. "I didn't mean for it to happen."

"How long? How long have you been with him, how long have you been lying to me telling me you want to hang out when you just came to see him?"

"Becca, can you just--"

"How long, Isak?" She ask. 

"Since the night of the party." He says simply. "It didn't start out like that though, I--"

"You didn't even tell me you were gay, Isak!!! How could you do that to me?"

"Do what, Becca? I didn't know how you would react and when I got to know Even, he told me why you guys don't talk. Why would I tell you when you stopped talking to your own brother because he likes guys?"

"My relationship with Even is none of your business, Isak. I'm hurt and betrayed and you guys are being disgusting together in my own home. Mom is going to be pissed--at both of you" she says looking to Even. "Everyone is going to hate you when they find out you're sinning like this. What you guys are doing is not okay and you're a terrible person for doing this and lying to me for so long"

Even sees Isak getting emotional and clearly hurt by her harsh words. He stands up, standing in between them, "You need to relax"

"No, this is all your fault! You ruin everything!!!" She screams and pushes him back hard. "You're a creep and you're trying to turn everyone like you"

"CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR A SECOND?" Even yells back. Becca eyes widen as she steps back in shock and shuts up

"Don't you ever assume I'm preying on boys and if you cared to educate yourself, that's not how it fucking works. You are so hypocritical, you have friends who are having premarital sex, you're so far up mom's ass even though she got a divorce. You can accept that but you cant accept this? It's bullshit. And if you stopped being so selfish and only talking about yourself, you would let Isak explain his side to you. We weren't going to do this because he was scared and didn't want to lose your friendship. He valued what you guys had. But we're together now and you need to accept that. And if his dad, the fucking pastor of the town's church can accept him, you need to get off your fucking high horse and do the same because he's still the same person that you were friends with. Nothing's changed besides who he's attracted to and maybe if you stepped outside your bubble once in a while, you'll realize just because people live differently than you, doesn't mean it's wrong." Even says passionately. And with that he kisses Isaks cheek and whispers, "I'll let you two talk." And he walks back in the house. 

The tension is thick and uncomfortable and Isak realizes she's done speaking and hopefully will let him get in what he needs to say

"I'm sorry, you have to know that I'm so genuinely sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt you or betray you. And I know being gay is one thing and me being with your brother is another but Becca, I love him and I swear he's a good person. I hid myself for so long, I wanted to keep being friends so bad. But now I'm able to be myself, I'm so happy. I'm happy that my dad knows. Being with Even makes me happy. And it was so shitty of me to sneak around but I really would love if you accepted my apology. We don't have to be friends anymore. I don't really know if I want to to be honestly considering you just called me disgusting but obviously I'm with Even, so I just don't want things to be weird and stuff" He explains. 

She hasn't looked at him the whole time, instead staring down at her feet. "I don't approve of it, of what you're doing, liking guys, being with my brother" she says simply.

"I'm not asking for your approval" Isak says. "I'm just letting you know"

"I dont--"

"Becca, it's fine, okay? We had a great friendship and clearly this is something you won't get over and thats fine, we can leave it at that. Okay?"

She nods and turns around and goes back into the house, closing the door behind her. He shoots a text to Even asking him to come back out. 

Evens soon opening the front door and closing it behind him, "How did it go?"

"Not good, but it's okay. I'll just make new friends at university. I have my dad, I have you. I'll be okay" Even nods and gives Isak a tight hug, "I'm so proud of you"

Isak smiles and pulls back from the hug and leans up to kiss him, "I love you"

Even bites his bottom lip containing his smile, "I love you too."

They do some much needed kissing before sitting on the porch, hands interlocked, "So when are you coming to dinner?"

Even groans, "I can't believe I have to do the meet the parent thing"

Isak chuckles and kisses his chin, "He needs to know you're a good person. Maybe next week?"

Even shrugs, "Whenever you want"

Isak nods and rest on Evens shoulder, "I have to get back, I'm grounded"

"Wait, you said things were okay?" Even ask looking up at him concerne.

"They are. I'm grounded for lying. I'll take that over what I was expecting"

Even nods and gives Isak a longing kiss, "I'll miss you but text me, okay?"

Isak smiles and gives one more kiss before heading back home for his punishment to begin. 

.

The weeks go by ridiculously slow. His dad even took his phone away because he knew that would be worst than letting Isak stay home with his phone to talk to Even or watch whatever he wanted. He merely goes to school and goes home, his dad picking him up and dropping him off and he goes to church on Sunday and that's the extent of his outings. It's almost torturous to go more than a couple days without talking to Even which is why when the month is finally over, when Isak wakes up on the day that hes free, he rises with a smile on his face. He hops out of bed and runs to the kitchen and sees his dad making breakfast, "Morning"

"Good morning" His dad greets.

"So the month is over... can I get my phone?" He ask.

Mr. Valtersen takes the phone and charger out of his pocket and slides it across the counter, "No more lying, Isak. And no hanging out with Even until I meet him"

He nods in understanding and scurries upstairs, plugging his phone in and impatiently waiting for it to turn on. 

When it finally comes back to life, text and email notifications keep going off. He silences them and pulls up Evens text thread and sees countless messages

_Hi baby, facetime me today?_

_Fuck,I forgot you don't have your phone_

_I miss you_

_Hi baby, just thinking about you_

_Miss kissing you_

_Can't stop thinking about what we did on the hike_

_I'm so horny, thinking about you_

_I forgot your dad might have your phone in which case...sorry, I didn't mean that_

_Hi Isak, miss you. Miss your cuddles_

_Can't wait to see you!! Love you so much_

_This is the longest month of my life, fucking hell_

_Please tell me it's almost over_

_I'm losing my mind over here_

Isak laughs to himself reading the messages and then some.

He FaceTimes Even even though it's inhumanely early for a weekend but he answers after several rings 

When his face loads on his screen, Even is in bed, eyes barely open, clearly having just woken up, "Hi baby" Even greets in his groggy, hot morning voice. 

"Hey, I'm finally free"

Even smiles, "Finally, that was terrible for me as much as it was for you. When can I see you? I miss you so much"

"Tonight? If you come to dinner?"

Even groans, "Can't we do that later?"

"Dad wants to officially meet you first before we keep hanging out."

"Ugh baby, I don't wanna!!" He childishly whines. 

"Suck it up, if you wanna see me, you have to"

"What time?"

"We usually eat around 19:30

"Okay, I'll come. As much as I want to catch up right now, I went to sleep 2 hours and I'm so tired"

"Why did you go to sleep so late?"

"Netflix, the enemy."

Isak chuckles, "Okay go to sleep, I'll see you tonight. Love you"

"Love you, handsome" 

.

Isak counted down the next several hours, stoked to see Even after what feels like ages. When dinner time comes around, Isak watches out the window to see if every passing car is Even. 

"Relax Isak" Mr Valtersen says finishing up dinner. 

"I can't, it's been a long time" When he sees a familiar car pull up in front of the house, he runs outside at the speed of the wind. As Even is opening the door to get out, Isak jumps into the car in his lap and hugs him, "I missed you so much"

Even pulls back from the hug with a smile on his face, "Hello to you too"

Isak chuckles and caresses his face with his thumb, "I missed you." He leans in to kiss his lips making up for long time. After about a minute, Even figures they should head inside. He pulls back from the kiss after giving him one more chaste on, "Ready?"

Isak nods and climbs off of Evens lap and out of the car and Even grabs a bag and closes the door, locking the car, "Whats that?" Isak ask gesturing to the bag as they walk up the porch. 

"Made some cupcakes." 

Isak halts in place and gives Even the most fond look, "You're so cute" 

They head inside and make it to the kitchen where Isak reintroduces the two. Hes sure they've met when Even was younger and apart of the church. 

"Isak, why don't you set the table and you boys wash your hands and I'll finish up."

"These are for dessert, Mr. Valtersen" He takes the container of cupcakes out of the bag. 

"Thanks Even, they look incredible" Even thanks him and heads into the dining room, watching Isak set up, "The bathroom is back there" He gestures and Even heads to it. When he's done washing his hands and about to head out, Isak joins him so Even takes that time to ask, "Should I be worried about anything he might ask? Or be warned about something?"

Isak chuckles and kisses Even, "No, I think it'll be okay, you're charming already."

When they return to the kitchen, Mr. Valtersen is filling their plates with cheesy potato dish he whipped up that he knows Isak loves. The couple joins him at the table, getting comfortable in the velvet seats. 

Isak holds his hand out to Even who looks at him confused, and then up at his boyfriends dad who also had his hand held out and Even takes the social cue and takes their hand , nodding his head in prayer. 

Isak gives a prayer, what seems to be a rehearsed prayer they say every night. Once they share a simultaneous amen, Mr. Valtersen tells them to dig in.

After a couple moments and delicious bites, Mr. Valtersen says, "So Even, how have you been? I hadn't realized you use to come to the church often, I remember your face now that I see you"

Even gives a polite chuckle, "And says I've just been hanging out, saving money to head back to London"

"What's in London?" He ask curiously. 

"I live there. My friends and I don't know--open minded people. I can't permanently live back here" He shares. 

Isaks dad gives a hesitant understanding nod, "What about Isak?"

"Dad.." Isak warns not wanting to step into awkward territory. 

"Its okay" Even reassures squeezing Isaks knee under the table, "We haven't discussed it yet, I'm sure we'll figure it out."

"You know, Isak has a lot of years of school left to be a doctor. He can't up and leave."

"Dad." Isak sighs. "I know you're just being considerate but can you drop it? Even and I will figure it out."

Isaks dad holds his hands up in defense and let's it go and continues eating. 

"How's Becca been?" Isak ask looking up at Even.

Even shrugs, "She's never home anymore, i mean even if she was, I wouldn't know, you know how she is."

Isak nods moving his food around with the fork.

"Isak said talking with Becca didn't go well."

"Yeah. She can be a bit selfish." Even explains. 

"He mentioned how you stood up for him so thank you, I'm sure it was hard for Isak to experience."

"Of course, always going to protect him" He says shooting Isak a smile. They engage in casual conversation long past their food is eaten. They dive into dessert about a half hour after dinner. They call it a night when Mr. Valtersen starts consistently yawning, "I better head to bed. Even, thank for you coming." He says shaking his hand.

"Yeah no problem. Thanks for dinner." 

As Isaks dad is heading upstairs, Isak catches him by his arm and nervously ask, "Can I go with him?"

"Isak..."

"Please. Just for a little bit" He begs. "I haven't seen him in a month."

"An hour, Isak. I need to go to sleep and I want you back home before I do." Isak agrees and says good night to his dad and walks back to Even with a smile on his face. He slips on his shoes and jacket as they head out.

When they hop in Evens car, he wastes no time in driving off. He pulls up a couple minutes later, across the street from a deserted and run down park. 

"Tonight went well." Even says putting the car in park. 

"I think so too" He smiles. "Think he really likes you"

Even smiles and squeezes Isaks hand, "Do you want to cuddle in the back?'

Isak nods as they both climb to the back of Evens jeep to lie down together.

"So what are we going to do...when you have to go back to London?"

Even sighs and interlocks his hand with Isaks that was resting on his chest.

"I don't know. I haven't thought about it but we're not breaking up, if that's what you're worried about."

"Are we going to have to do long distance? Are you going to move back? "

"I don't know Isak, I really don't know. I don't want to leave you obviously but I also don't want to permanently live here. I'll just have to think about it some more"

Isak nods though he's completely anxious about the situation, "Well I want you to stay"

"I know baby, I know" The unwanted butterflies and nerves in Isaks tummy is making him want to forget this subject so instead he kisses Even. He presses his hand to his jaw and kisses his plump, pink lips. After a bit of heated making out, Even turns their bodies so he's now hovering over Isak and starts kissing on his neck. 

"Even...Even..." He chokes out breathlessly. "I'm ready."

Evens movements come to an immediate stand still. He pulls back slowly from Isaks neck, "What?"

"I'm ready...to have sex" He says wrapping his legs around Even who gives a soft smile, "That's great but Isak, I'm not taking your virginity in the backseat of my car, especially when I have to get you back in an hour "

"But I don't mind, I promise" He insists 

Even softly and delicately pecks his lips, "But I mind and I don't want to like this"

Isak pouts and drops his legs so they're no longer wrapped around Even, "Okay"

"Stop pouting, you deserve better than this, Isak. Just be patient" He says scooting to lie beside him. 

"Fine" He accepts and instead just kisses his boyfriend who slides his knee in between Isaks leg. Isak let's out a small mewl and starts grinding into Evens knee, "its okay?" He mutters in between kisses and Even nods, clearly feeling Isaks erection against his leg and doesn't want to completely abandon him for the night to deal with that. He pulls back from the kiss and watches every expression change as Isak brings himself closer and closer to an orgasm. He watches Isak clench his eyes shut, his bruised lips open, letting out the softest, most orgasmic of sounds. He watches Isaks hand trying to cling to something and eventually slides onto Evens bicep as Isak grinds faster. He tries to meet him halfway and starts jerking his knee up to match the rhythm and within seconds, Isak is moaning out as he comes in his pants. 

Even slides his knee back and watches Isak collapse on his back, catching his breath. When he comes back to himself and his eyes flutter open, he turns to look at Even, "That was really nice"

Even smiles and wraps his arms around him. They cuddle in a comfortable silence before Isak is itching to get out of his pants. They drive back and share I love yous before Isak is heading inside. But not before, turning back with his hand on the doorknob to blow Even one last good night kiss


	6. Chapter 6

Isak is lounging in his room watching a video on his phone when the ringer goes off and he sees Even's name displayed on caller ID, "Hey" He greets upon picking up. 

"Hi baby, can you come downstairs? I want to see you"

"Are you outside?" Isak ask confused getting out of bed to check out the window.

"Yeah, come on. Get dressed and come down"

"Okay, okay I'm coming" He say before even getting to look outside, he leaves on his t shirt and sweats and heads downstairs, slipping his shoes on, "Dad, Even's outside. I'll be right back" He calls to the living room. 

"Okay, take your key" He reminds as Isak grabs it off the hook and heads out. He opens the passenger door when he reaches the car, hopping in, "Hi, what's up?"

"Are you busy?" Even ask.

"Um I guess not, why?" He ask confused. 

"I have a surprise for you. Sit back, put your seatbelt on." 

"Wait, I have to tell my dad" 

"He knows already. Seatbelt on" Isak looks up at Even with a smirk, "Whats going on?"

Even sits there unamused, "You'll never find out if you don't put the seatbelt on."

"Fine, fine" He says buckling up as Even pulls off, "When did you even ask my dad?"

"After dinner last week."

"You're so sneaky" He smiles, leaning over to kiss his cheek. Isak sits back patiently, staring out the window eagerly to figure out where they're going. 

When Even pulls into a underground parking lot, Isak ask, "Isn't this a hotel lot?"

"No"

"Yes it is" Isak smiles, leaning over the console. "Are we having the night to ourselves?" He ask as Even pulls into the empty spot, "Yeah" He says smiling down at him. "Since you keep wanting to jump me in the back of my car."

Isak rolls his and mimics him in a mocking tone, "Well smartass, you tried to surprise me and now I have no clothes."

Even pulls a back from the backseat and throws it in Isak's lap, "Your dad packed a bag"

Isak narrows his gaze up at him, "I'm not sure how I feel about you and my dad conspiring without me knowing."

Even leans in to kiss Isak's cheek, "It's all in your best interest." He takes the key and his bag out and they head upstairs to the lobby of the hotel.

.

After they settle in, Even tells Isak to look in his bag for something nice to wear, they have a dinner reservation. Isak reluctantly gets dressed, frankly just wanting to spend time with Even in the hotel room. He gets dressed in a black button down and slacks, parting his curls down the middle and when he returns from the bathroom, Even is dressed in all black with a dark floral blazer.

Isak raises his brows as soon as he sees him, "Well don't you look handsome"

Even chuckles and pulls Isak close by his empty belt loop. He fixed the curl in front of his face and kisses his forehead, "You look beautiful. Are you ready?" Isak agrees with a smile on his face. They interlock hands and leave the hotel room. The restaurant is unlike anything Isaks ever been to before, it's very out of his element but he thinks he's playing the part quite well. They order glasses of wine and giggle like children at their facade. They facade only extends so far because they don't have the money to be splurging but they treat themselves. The two stay in the restaurant talking and laughing for multiple hours. 

"Trying to play footsies with me, Valtersen?" Even teases feeling Isaks foot creeping up his leg. 

Isak has his almost empty glass up to his mouth, looking above the rim at Even, "I think we should go back to the hotel now." He says seductively, voice laced with intention. 

Evens eyes widen but he nods anyway, immediately calling for the check. Once the bill is paid, the two are on their way back to the hotel. When they get there, Isak kicks off his shoes and sits on the edge of the bed, "I'm ready"

Even chuckles and walks up to Isak, caressing his cheek, "I love that you're so eager"

Isak smiles and starts unbuttoning Evens pants but the older of the two pushes him back to lie down, "Can I at least get a kiss first?" Even teases before climbing on top of Isak and kissing him. They know exactly what they want because immediately, they're sucking on each other's lips, tongue sliding in each other's mouth, no parts of their bodies going untouched. 

Isak keeps their lips locked as he starts unbuttoning Evens shirt. He almost rips it off when he can't get the last buttons undone but eventually he does and throws it on the floor and takes off his own shirt. 

Isak goes to unbutton his pants and Even let's him but says, "Baby, we're gonna take this slow, okay? There's no need to rush."

Isak shakes his head, trying to pull Even closer, "I'm already hard" He whines desperately. 

Even takes Isaks hands and pushes them back above his head, "You need to relax, okay? I'm going to give you want you want, just be patient."

Isak nods looking up at Even helplessly who leans down to kiss him. He let's go of Isaks hands and places his own on his boy's waist. His hands creep up Isaks chest, running up and down his abdomen. They stay kissing for a couple minutes but Isak pulls back, "As much as I love kissing you, I need something more. Even, please" He groans, getting increasingly impatient.

Even chuckles and unbuttons Isaks pants and getting rid of his own. He lies flat on top of Isak and starts kissing up his neck and jaw as he starts grinding his crotch against Isaks, creating a much needed friction for them both. As Even is marking Isaks neck and kissing up his jawline, he ask, "Did you want me to top or?" He ask unsure. 

Isak nods, running his fingers through Evens hair. Even starts moving his hips a little faster, getting off on the mewls escaping Isaks mouth. Even eventually pulls back and gets rid of the last bits of clothing between them. Even lies down flat on his stomach and wraps his hand around Isaks dick and the boy squeals, caught off guard. 

"Even, I'm scared I'm going to finish too soon if you do that." He shares.

Even nods and teasingly licks the tip, "I'll only do it for a little bit."

Isak bites down on his bottom lip and nods as Even takes his hard on in his mouth and Isaks mouth fall open in disbelief at how good Evens warm and skilled mouth feels. Even only gets in a few sucks and one deepthroat before Isak is pushing him off.

"I'm sorry" He breaths heavily. "I just didn't--"

Even nods in understanding and crawls up and kisses him again. "Tomorrow morning though. I'm making you come with just a blowjob."

Isak feels his entire body tremble at the mere thought. He finds himself deepening the kiss, his hands on Evens cheek. He sucks on his bottom lip before muttering, "Get a condom. Now please" He begs. 

"I need to finger you for a bit first" He mutters pulling back from the kiss, to grab lube and spends his sweet time fingering Isak open until he deems his ready and the boy is begging for Evens dick.

Even leans over the bed, digging in his bag and pulling out a new box and ripping it open. As Even is opening the packaging, Isak gently touches Evens dick, "Do you want me to get you off a bit?"

Even smiles and shakes his head, "Thanks baby, but I'm good. Tomorrow will be for blowjobs." He smirks.

Even slides on the condom, pinching the tip before lubing himself and Isak up some more before hovering over him.

"You feeling okay?" Even ask, arms on either side of Isaks upper body. Isak nods and watches as Even takes a hold of himself by the base, teasing Isaks hole, preparing for entry. 

He pushes the head in and pulls out, slowly. He pushes in a little further with each thrust, watching Isaks face with each move, "Talk to me, baby" Even encourages

Isak gives a weak smile and shakes his head, "I'm okay, keep going."

Even nods and pushes a little further until he's buried completely inside of him. Even goes to move but Isak grips onto Evens bicep, "Just---hold on a second." 

Even nods and buries his face in Isaks neck, kissing him. Hes still for a solid 45 seconds before he feels Isaks hands on his ass, encouraging him to move now.

Even pulls back and starts moving his hips, muttering sweet nothing's to his boy. Isak hisses at a particular thrust, asking Even to go slower and he complies without question. 

Even tries his best to move with ease. He adjusts Isaks legs so they're in the air, resting against Even's chest and he lifts his hips up and Isak immediately let's out a guttural moan, taking both of them off guard. 

"It's so deep like that, Even" He whines. 

So Even stays like that, thrusting deep, hard and intentional with each thrust. Even watched the sweat glisten Isaks abdomen and his bruised neck and his pink, swollen red lips letting out the sweetest of sounds and how he periodically opens his blue eyes given Even the most dazed and fucked out look. He stares in amazement at how lucky he is and how beautiful his boyfriend is. 

"Even..Even" He starts panting holding onto his arms, feelimg his orgasm rapidly approaching. "Fuck" He curses since he planned to last a little longer but he wraps his hand around himself, unable to help himself from chasing the pleasure. And soon he does, it takes about a minute before he's shooting all over his chest as he screams Evens name. 

Even allows himself to orgasm soon after, milking out every bit of ecstasy before pulling out and collapsing beside Isak.

The room is filled with the strench of sweat and sex and sound of heavy breathing. 

"I'll be right back" Even says kissing his cheek and heading to the bathroom. 

After a couple minutes, he opens the door peeking out, "Should we jump in the shower?"

"Isak" he says since the boy didn't acknowledge him. Isak finally looks up startled with wide eyes, "Hm?"

"Do you want to shower with me?"

He nods and gets up and follows Even to the bathroom. But before he bypasses him, Even stops him with a soft grip on his jaw, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah" He smiles and turns on the water and climbs in and Even just closes the bathroom door behind himself hesitantly and grabbing the bottle of soap he packed to place it on the corner of the bathtub. Even climbs in and watches the hot water running down Isaks back. He can tell something is off and it's bothering him that Isak feels suddenly closed off.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you regretting it?" He ask calmly.

Isak shakes his head, still under the showerhead. Even grabs him by the arm, turning him around, "Are you going to keep lying to me?"

Isak wipes the water from his eyes and looks up at him, "I said I'm fine."

"And you're clearly not considering we just had sex and you don't want to even look at me."

Isak sighs and runs his hand through his wet hair and just silently picks up the soap and the washcloth and start washing his body. 

"Seriously Isak, can you just talk to me?"

"I'm fine, Even" He insists frustrated, looking up at him. "I'm just thinking, okay? I'm trying not to feel guilty for what we just did so can you just relax?" He sighs. 

Even gently takes Isaks hand and pulls him close to him, "Do you wish we didn't?" He ask in the softest tone 

Isak shakes his head looking away, "I did want to do it and I loved it but I don't know--its hard not to think that I shouldn't be doing it. Like it's one thing to be gay and another to be having sex with my boyfriend.....You probably wouldn't get it, it's just something I have to deal with."

Even takes in all of Isaks confessions unbiased, "Well, I will say it kind of sucks that's kind of where your head goes after we share this beautiful moment but I get it, it's hard to uncondition yourself. But also baby, I told your dad we were staying in a hotel, I'm sure he knows what we were gonna do and if he didn't think you should, he wouldn't have packed your bags or told me he hopes we have fun or anything, okay? It's human nature to have sex and pastors and religious figures do it so there's no reason to feel guilty, Isak. We just showed our love in a new, different way. It doesn't have to be seen as this dirty, forbidden thing, you know?" 

Isak nods and gives an appreciative smile to his boyfriend, "I love you"

Even gives Isak a soft kiss and reciprocates the love. They wash in a comfortable silence before getting out, drying themselves off and putting boxers on. Even changes the bedding and they curl into the fresh seats and cuddle one another. 

They're spent from the day and Even feels his eyes getting heavy when Isak quietly says, "I don't want you to move back."

"Hmm?" Even sleepily ask, opening his eyes looking down at Isak realizing he's tearing up, "What's wrong?" He ask concerned. 

Isak lifts his hand up to Evens face and caresses his cheek, "You can't leave. Please" He begs. 

Even sighs and pulls Isak into his chest but the younger boy pulls back and looks up at him, "I'm serious."

"What do you want me to do?" He ask helplessly.

"Move back here." He says as if it's the obvious answer. 

"Baby, I love you so much and of course I want to stay to be with you but my home is back in London. And I--my mental health can't sustain it here for long term" Even has prioritized his partner over his mental health in the past and he was wise enough now to not go back down that road, despite how in love he was

Isak sighs and wipes his tears though they keep falling, "What am I supposed to do? What's happening with us?"

"Nothing is happening. We will stay together and visit each other and make long distance work until you finish school."

"And then what?"

"And then if you want to come to London, we can start a life there. If not, we can find another place to move that we're both excited about."

"I have two more years and then med school, Even" He sighs

"You can do med school in another place, right? As long as you get this degree, then we can decide what to do next?"

Isak sighs and nods and figures they'll worry about it more when the time comes closer.

"When are you going back?" Isak ask running his soft fingers up and down Evens chest. 

"I started thinking about it since your dad asked and I think after Christmas, I'll head back."

Isak nods , looking up at him as the tears resurface, "I'm going to miss you"

"I know baby and I'm going to miss you but we'll video chat everyday, schedule facetime dates and visit when we have time. We can do this, I believe in us."

Isak curls into his chest and slips his knee in between Evens legs, warming up, "I do too" He mutters.

And Isak does believe in it. He believes their love is enough and that a bit of distance for two years is doable and they're solid enough to handle it. But the doubts creep in because his parents didn't have to face long distance and still, their love wasn't strong enough to make them last. He just hopes he and Even are different.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, this took 5000 years to get up but writers block sucks. i hope you enjoy. let me know your thoughts!

Christmas had always been Isaks favorite holiday. The months leading up, all Isak would do is play Christmas music and drive his father mad. But the excitement decreased the closer it got because it was closer to the time Even had to leave. 

On Christmas Day and 5 days until Even leaves, Isak is in church listening to the sermon about Jesus and his birth. He's enjoying the words and taking it in but his mind is elsewhere. He just wants to spend every moment with Even until he leaves. When the sermon ia over and everyone dissipates into the lobby, Isak heads outside and calls Even

_Hello? _

_Hey_

_Hi baby, merry christmas. what's going on?_

_I want to see you, do you want to come over in a bit? We're going to make cookies _

_yeah of course. in an hour is good?_

_mhmm, see you in a bit_

When Even arrives, he kicks off his shoes and joins Isak and Mr Valtersen in the kitchen, following the holiday music. They have an array of holiday cookie cutters and different batters. 

"You guys take this seriously" Even chuckles

"Traditions are taken seriously in this house, Even" Mr Valtersen informs. They all get a separate baking pan and choose the batter of their liking and after the cookies are baked, they decorate to their hearts desire. When Isaks dad briefly leaves to the living room, Even takes that chance to finally kiss Isak after arriving over an hour ago. 

Isak smiles and wraps his arms around his neck, making sure not to touch him with his messy hands. They only pull back when they hear footsteps and continue working as if they didn't have a makeout break. 

"What is that?" Isak questions with a giggle, finally looking at Evens cookies

"What do you mean?" He ask confused. 

"Are you just putting random icing, Even? We have sprinkles and little edible snowman. You're supposed to make it look nice"

"Hey!" Even says feeling attacked. "I'll eat these and you eat yours."

Isak jokingly rolls his eyes, still ashamed of his boyfriend's work. They all gather on the couch with their treats to watch _Home Alone: Lost in New York_, Isaks favorite. 

That night, Even is allowed to sleepover with the door open and he's only allowed because Isaks dad knows it's one of their last night's together for a while.

The day it comes to say goodbye, Isak has gone without sleep, not stopped crying and has barely spoken. Even is driving to the airport and Isak is going to drive the car back to Evens family home. The ride is silent and almost uncomfortable. When Even pulls up in the drop off zone, he looks over to Isak who finally looks at him and gives him a weak smile. They give each other a tight hug and when they pull back, Even pulls Isak in for a deep and emotional kiss, "I love you" Even says. 

"Love you too" He says and finally gets out if the car and starts getting Evens stuff because he knows they can't sit idly for long. Even gets out of the drivers seat and walks around the car taking his bags from Isak.

"Are you okay?" Even ask

Isak narrows his red eyes up at him, in disbelief that his boyfriend is asking him that. 

"Right, sorry. I just--youre making this kind of weird, Isak"

"I'm just trying not to cry" He admits. 

Even sighs sadly and nods in understanding and kisses him again before they're being told off at security to move the car. Even pecks his lips repeatedly, "I'll call you when I get there. Love you so much baby, we'll be fine" 

Isak nods and starts walking around the car to the seat, "I love you more" He watches Even head into the automatic double doors and gets in the car. He holds in the tears his whole way home, he drops the car off, takes a taxi to his own home and only when he's in the comfort of his own bed does he allow himself to break down. 

.

He knew being away from Even would be hard. That was just a fact but he didn't know it would _this_ hard. Still so crippling after being apart for 3 months. Things just didn't return to normal for Isak, he hated being away from Even and Even had friends and a whole life so he wasn't always available to talk like Isak was and it was starting to get to him. 

They talk a couple times a week but it's still hard for Isak and Isak is wondering if Evens feeling the same or if he has enough friends to distract him.

_hey even _

_hi baby_

_how are you? I miss you_

_I miss you too, I'm doing well. about to get off work soon. How are you? _

_not good. it's not getting any easier for me, even. _

_baby :( I'm so sorry. We'll FaceTime tonight?_

_yes please :)) _

_love u so much, we'll talk soon_

_okay _

_._

Isak is in bed that night, finally facetiming with Even after about two weeks and his heart soars seeing his face. 

"I don't have a lot of work this weekend, I think I just may spend time with dad."

"Isak, I really think you should get closer with some of the people in your department. The more you hang out with other people, the less time you'll have to think about us being far apart."

Isak sighs, "Not as easy for me"

"Well what about church friends?"

"What if they find out I'm gay?'

"I dont--Even suddenly pauses hearing noise at his front door. "Hold on, I think someone's knocking." 

Isak hears Evens door open and then multiple voices and tries to listen in closely to figure out whats going on. He hears his name and Even saying _I can't_ and soon Even and two other people are coming into frame.

"Hi Isak. We're taking Even out tonight." The girl says. "Is that fine?"

"Um, I--"

"Don't worry. We'll have him call you when he gets back." He says and Even mouths_ I'm sorry_ before the call abruptly ends. Isak blankly stared at the screen confused and shoots Even a text,

_I've been waiting for that call for two weeks..._

Even text back about 20 minutes later, _ugh I know baby. I'm sorry. talk tomorrow?_

Isak just rolls his eyes and doesn't even reply to the message. 

.

When Isak wakes up the next morning, he has a couple of texts and missed calls from Even. 

He checks the messages, 

_hi baby, I fucked up last night, didn't i?_

_I'm really sorry, I've just been trying to balance work, friendship and long distance and I'm sucking at it. I'm sorry _

_Call me when you wake up_

Isak pulls the blankets above his head, tucking himself further into the bed and calls up Even.

"Hey baby."

"Hi." Isak replies, turning in his bed.

"How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"

"Mhmm."

Even can tell Isak isnt having any of the small talk, "Isak, I'm sorry about last night. And about everything. Not giving this my all."

Isak sighs, "Well, did you at least have fun?"

"I guess but not for long because I was just thinking about you."

"I just need to know things will change, Even. I dont want to be the only one trying here."

"You're not, Isak, I'm trying too. But I will try harder. You mean the world to me and I havent been proving that." 

"So do you want to facetime now?" Isak ask with a hopeful tone. 

"Yeah of course." Even switches the call to facetime and when his face loads on the screen, Isak cant help but smile.

"Your hair looks a mess." Isak comments.

"Oh well thanks, I love knowing you're attracted to me." He jokes with a chuckle as he ruffles his hair, "I passed out when I got in last night." 

"Still looks hot though too." Isak smirks. "What are you up to today?"

Even shrugs, "Probably will just talk to my wonderful boyfriend who's the sweetest person in the world."

Isak hides his smile and shakes his head, "'You're annoying."

"I love you though."

The couple continue to talk and finally have the facetime session filled with catching up, playful banter and _i love yous_ that Isak needed. 

.

Things get easier between the two, they fall into a routine. Mondays are facetime date night, Wednesday, they squeeze in a call and Fridays, they play a game or watch a movie together via facetime and intimacy through video chat would just come naturally which tended to be a couple times a week. They had been solid for five months, five months without seeing each other and long distance and Isak's school year was finally coming to an end. He has finals to complete and it was immensely difficult to try to be present and focus enough to pass because he was so ridiculously excited to spend a couple months in London with his boyfriend. He just had a month left. A month in this town to get through.

Isak's new friend who recently moved into town, Colbie was lying on the bed, head hanging off as he throws a ball up in the air and catches it repeatedly. Isak came out to Colbie soon after they met, not wanting to get close to him if he didn't accept him but thankfully Colbie had moved from a rather liberal place and it didn't phase him at all. 

"You never left here though, are you not scared?" Colbie questions.

"Not really" Isak replies curled in his bed under the blanket. "I mean, maybe if I was traveling without any plan but I'll be with Even and he lives there so I'll be safe. I'm just---I don't know, I've never been around a lot of different people before you know? I mean, I never even been around other gay people and I think all his friends might be. If anything, I'm scared that part is going to overwhelm me but I'll be okay."

"Once you leave, you're probably never going to want to come back. I never knew I would be around people who are so sheltered. It's going to be different but you'll be good. Are you going to get me a souvenir?"

Isak chuckles, "What do you want?"

"I don't know, maybe a shot glass or something." 

"Okay Colbie, a shot glass it is."

.

Isaks dad was worried about him. Understandably so, because it was his first time leaving home but the whole ride to the airport, Isak can tell his dad was worried and tries to calm him down. His dad gives him a long hug and tells him to call regularly, call when he lands and when he meets up with Even. 

Having your first flight be by yourself is quite nervewracking but it's not long so long that gets Isak through it. He spends the time asleep, imagining scenarios of the time he's going to spend with Even. 

.

When Isak lands and picks up his bags from baggage claim, he steps outside and immediately calls Even. After a couple rings he hears his sweet voice that hes so excited to hear in person, "Hey baby, I'll be there in 5 minutes. There's a lot of people on this line for arrivals."

"Okay, hurry! I want to see you." He begs.

"Im coming, Im coming. Stand close to the street so I can see you, okay?"

"Okay, see you in a bit." Isak impatiently waits at the edge of the sidewalk with his large suitcase aside him. He shoots his dad a quick message to let him know he's arrived. He wonders if the distance did anything to change Even's appearance. He wonders if he may have facial hair now or if his hair is any shorter or longer or if he happened to grow a few inches that he doesn't need. He's distracted out of his thoughts when he hears repeated honking. He looks around and sees Even waving home over as drivers arent allowed to get out of the car due to it causing more traffic. Isak drags his bag with him and hurries to Even's car, throwing his suitcase in the back and finally hopping into the passenger seat.

"Hi." He smiles up at him brightly, and nothing has changed and he still looks as handsome as he remembers. He leans in to kiss his lips and brings his hand to his cheek. A hello kiss turns into I miss you kiss and they're full on making out as people honk behind them to move on. Even has to force himself to pull back and put the car in drive and pull off. 

"God, you look so good. I missed you." Even says caressing Isaks cheek and playing with his hair, and taking every chance he gets to get a glance at Isak.

"I missed you too. So much. What are we doing today?"

Even shrugs, "Whatever you want, I could show you around London and we can go on a date or something."

"So there's no set plan or anything?" Isak ask.

Even shakes his head, "We can make one, I just left it up in the air."

Isak nods and leans over to kiss on his neck, "Want to stay in your bed all day." He admits. 

Even nods and reaches his hand over to squeeze his thigh, "Whatever you want."

When Isak pulls back to sit back in his seat, they try to focus on anything else besides getting their hands on each other, "Is there anything you want to do while here?" Even ask.

"I just want to be with you, I want to see all the fun spots you like and all the tourist stuff too. I want you to take me on a tour of this place you love so much."

Even smiles and nods, "That'll be nice. What do you think about going to your first ever gay club?"

Isaks eyes widen as he scratches his head, "I dont know, I haven't thought about it. Erm--I guess I can see."

"There's some really cool ones here, it'll be nice just to experience them once. And if you dont like it or if it makes you uncomfortable, we'll leave. But still would be nice, no? Especially since we dont have those back at home."

"Yeah, I trust you to take care of me."

Even smirks and keeps his eyes on the road as he leans in and gives Isak a kiss.

.

When they arrive at Even's apartment, Isak immediately feels comfortable in the space. Its a quaint little one bedroom that has his art all over the wall and its a bit of a mess but its cozy. Even pushes Isak in a little more, so he can close the door behind himself. He kicks his shoes off and rolls Isaks suitcase in the room. 

He walks back into the living room and sees Isak looking at his collage wall. Even strides up to Isak and wraps his arms around his waist from behind, "Do you like it?"

"Where did you get this photo?" He ask, pointing to the photo of he and Even. 

"It was a picture we took on my phone. After we slept together before I left."

"And so you put it on your wall for everyone to see?" He ask, jokingly glaring up at Even and turning in his arms.

"Got to let everyone know how lucky I am." He smirks.

Isak throws one arm over Evens shoulder and the other hand over Evens jeans and unbuttons them as he looks up at him. Their eyes stay locked as Isak slowly unzips Even's pants and slides his hand into Even's boxers and wraps his hand around him. As soon as Isak has his hand firm around him, Even slams his lips to Isak's as Isak strokes him. It only takes him a couple seconds before he pulls his hand out to spit on it and dives his hand back inside his boyfriend's boxers and strokes him until he's hard and heavy in his hand.

Isak pushes Even back until he falls onto the couch and he pulls Even's pants and briefs off and throws them aside. He's about to take him in his mouth and catches himself and looks up at Even, "Sorry, do you want this? Can I get you off?"

Even chuckles and his finger grazes Isak's lips, "Of course baby, its cute you asked."

Isak smirks and leans up to kiss him, "I was just a little excited." He admits with a slight blush as he gives his boyfriend head for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.

Even ate Isak out for the first time right there on their couch right after and they broke in the couch by making love to Isak on it, exhausting themselves into a nap right after.

.

Even wakes up before Isak does and the day is nearly over. He eases himself off the couch as to not wake Isak and slips on his boxers and walks into the kitchen to make them dinner. He puts some boiling water on the stove to whip up pasta quickly and checks his phone. He sees a message from his friend, Steph.

_hey, we're going out tonight around 23. pick you up then?_

_hey, not tonight. isak came in to town today so we're gonna stay in but maybe next weekend_

_oh shit, he's here??!!? can we meet him next weekend?_

_maybe, if he wants to come._

_ah okay, im excited but have fun tonight ;)_

_thanks, you too!_

Even throws the rotini pasta into the salted boiling water and starts sauteing some veggies. He replies to a couple other messages since he hadn't checked his phone since he picked up Isak.

"Baby." He hears his boyfriend tiredly groan. Even walks to the living room and sees Isak curled into the olive green blanket that brings out his eyes, "Im here, babe."

Isak pulls Even down to lie on top of him, "Why did you leave?"

"I'm making us some food, are you hungry?"

Isak nods as Even gets up and holds his hand out for Isak to follow him. Isak stands up, wrapping the blanket over his shoulder to drape over his naked body and follows Even into the kitchen. He leans back against the counter and watches Even, "Smells good."

"Almost done and then we can eat and watch a film or something." Isak smiles and agrees, wrapping his arm around Evens waist.

.

So they were going to a gay club tonight. Isak was really nervous but really wanted to do this. Wanted to experience this, meet other people like him, see what he's been missing back home. It's been two weeks since he's been to London and it's been quite nice, Isak will also be meeting Even's friends tonight so he just hopes everything doesnt get too much.

The two are walking hand in hand to the club and they stand on the line to get in.

"This isnt wrong, right? For me to be here?" Isak ask. "Like do you think...this is okay?"

"Isak, you're not murdering anyone. You're just going to dance and talk to people and have a good time. We're not doing anything wrong." Even insists.

Isak looks down at the ground and nods, trying to convince himself of that. That there's nothing wrong with being around other people like him. He knows there isnt anything wrong it but sometimes he can't help but second guess. 

Once they get to the front, they show their ID's and head inside the club with loud music, colored lights and sweaty and drunken bodies. Even takes Isak's hand as to not lose him and they walk over to the bar.

"I'm going to get a drink, do you want one?"

Isak shakes his head, "Just a soda." 

Isak watches as the bartender spots Even and smiles and they catch up and Even introduces Isak and it feels nice to be introduced to people as Even's boyfriend since they had been private for so long. 

Once they have their drinks, Even sits on a stool at the bar and Isak stands in between his legs, sipping his soda.

"You alright?" Even ask squeezing his hips.

Isak nods, as he looks out to the crowd, "It's just different." He says seeing a couple of men making out here and there and unapologetically dancing all over each other. 

"Its kind of cool though, right? Like no one is ashamed of who they are when they're in here. They can do whatever they want, kiss and dance with whoever and its totally okay. Everyone's free in here."

Isak smiles at how comfortable Even feels and leans in to kiss him, "I like being able to kiss you whenever I want. That feels really nice."

Even smirks and sips his gin, "I think my friends are coming." He says looking over Isak's shoulder. Isak turns around and sees a familiar face from Even's facetime call.

"Even!!!!" They scream in greeting and Even gives them all a hug.

"This is my boyfriend, Isak." He introduces. "This is Steph, Hendrix and Jon"

"Nice to meet you." Isak smiles at them.

"He's well fit." Hendrix says, turning Isak around to check him out and Isak turns red and looks at Even helplessly.

"Hendrix!! What did I tell you?" Even say pulling Isak into him. 

"Fucks sake, alright. I'll try to tone it down." He mocks. "But you have a cute little body." Hendrix compliments and Isak just shyly thanks him. 

"Okay, are we gonna keep talking shit or get wasted?" Steph says pushing them aside to order shots from the bar.

"If they get a lot, just let me know." Even says into Isak's ear who just nods as he observes Even's friends interacting. He knew a bit about them just from talking to Even but he can in fact see that Hendrix is a little reckless with his mouth, very much gay and proud and ready to pick someone up. And Steph is super sweet but also unapologetic and knows what she wants and Jon is a little more tame, he's queer and an artist and loves a good party to have himself let loose once a week.

He watches as the three take their shots. "Not taking a shot, mate?" Steph ask, nudging Evens shoulder. He shakes his head, "I'll have a drink or two, but not trying to get drunk."

"'Well be prepared for Hendrix." She says and warns Isak, "He's trying to pick up tonight so he gets tipsy and then parades the whole place to find someone he wants. And then I have to hear them all night." She says unamused

"You guys live together?" Isak ask.

"Mhmm, since uni and once we graduated, we stayed in the same flat. Who do you live with back home?"

"Just my dad." He answers.

"Aw, thats quite sweet. Well, you'll need to come here some more and have a good time. Even talks about you all the damn time so it'll be nice to just have you here."

"Maybe, once I graduate." He answers as he watches Hendrix grind on Jon behind Steph. Steph turns back to look at him and chuckles, "Jon puts up with his shit more than any of us could."

Isak watches the madness play out in front of him and just leans up to Even, "Can we dance or something?" Even agrees as they head out to the dance floor. Isak wraps his arms around Even and Even wraps his hand around his waist. 

"You okay?"

Isak nods, "They're sweet."

"I'm sorry about Hendrix, like if that made you uncomfortable." Even empathizes

"You didnt mind? He was checking me out."

"He checks everyone out. And I cant blame him, you look so fucking good tonight." Even says softly as he gives a squeeze to his ass clad in his fitted black jean shorts. 

"You said it wasnt too much."

"Its not, you look good. Like really really good." He reiterates as his hands hold the back of Isak's small thighs and inches up and squeeze his cheeks and Isaks head falls into Evens chest, "I like when you do that. So you have to stop, its turning me on." 

Even chuckles and nods, bringing his hand up to Isaks waist instead as they continue to move to the beat, "So tomorrow, will you show me the London eye and stuff?" Isak ask.

"Are you asking me on a date?" Even smirks.

Isak chuckles and nods, playing with the pendant on his chain. 

"Of course, whatever you want." Even agrees as Isak smiles and catches sight of Hendrix locking lips with Jon. He points over it so Even sees and Even nods, "They do that sometimes."

"Do they like each other?" Isak ask confused.

"To be honest, I think Jon has a little crush on him but they just kiss for fun when they're a little drunk."

"Are you a little drunk?" Isak ask looking up at him.

Even shakes his head, "Not even tipsy."

"Well." He says, index finger grazing his collar bone, "Will you kiss me anyway?"

"Never have to ask, baby." Even replies as he leans down to kiss Isak's soft, pink lips. He pulls him closer as their lips lock. Even slides his tongue in Isaks mouth and the younger boy whines but kisses him back harder. He takes Even's hands that are on his waist and pushes them down so they're back on his bum and Even smirks in the kiss. Isak allows himself to be kissed and touched by his boyfriend out in public without any second thought to whether he should, whether its wrong or not. He allows himself to enjoy his love in front of whoever sees. And he couldn't be happier.


End file.
